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Understanding death and dying
Counselling the terminally ill and bereaved
Guidance and settlement for families and carers
Easing mental, emotional, psychological and spiritual trauma
Supporting the physically and sexually abused

'You don't need to feel alone, bewildered or afraid'

The Ruby Care Foundation is an international educational charity which was founded by people with a wealth of different kinds of hands-on experience, who care deeply about end-of-life issues; we offer care, counselling and support to those approaching their time of departure from this life. RCF Associates are carers, counsellors, companions and supporters, both professional and volunteer, helping people to deal with the myriad difficulties often involved in terminal illness, to be able to approach the end of their lives with acceptance and settlement, and to those in grief from the loss of a loved one or, indeed, from loss of any kind. We work towards making dying less fearful and more naturally acceptable, and promote mental, emotional, psychological and spiritual easement and settlement for all involved.

We use new concepts and understandings based on over thirty-five years of international experience, research and study. Out of these have arisen the values and understandings that we base our work on which give fortification and settlement to the dying, and to anyone suffering bereavement in all its many forms - loss of a partner, a beloved pet, a limb, or even someone fleeing their country.

Just as new life is assisted into being at birth, so we believe that the same assistance, preparation and care should be extended to every person as they approach and pass through their death. We feel strongly that every human being should be able to know that their departure from this life will be a natural, acceptable and peaceful transition without the fears, stress, worry and even trauma that unfortunately are currently what people experience at the time of life’s passing.


Everyone has to face the very difficult time of approaching death in their journey through life sooner or later. This is a time that might involve a long and possibly painful terminal illness, or the possibility of losing control of ones faculties, maybe having to leave a young family, or worries about a partner maybe not knowing how to cope – there are so many difficulties that may arise and they sometimes threaten to completely overwhelm us. We can feel that there is no-one to turn to and it becomes easy to fall prey to fears that are mostly caused by lack of knowledge and understanding. At times like this it is important to have a listening ear for the release of emotions, to cry, to get angry, to talk to somebody who is not necessarily part of your close family; and you may need sound, practical advice about things like making a Will, funeral plans and how to tidy up ones affairs. These are all matters that our companion-counsellors can assist with.

When you find yourself thrown into this frightening time, many questions can arise like:-

  • How to come to terms with leaving loved ones?
  • How to deal with fears about dying?
  • How to stay in control over treatment and care, particularly in the face of possible dementia and loss of faculties?
  • How to cope with the thoughts of what the process of dying involves?

And, from family and friends:-

  • How can I offer support when my own fears seem overwhelming?
  • How to deal with loneliness, fear, guilt and inadequacy?
  • How to handle the pain of grief?
  • How to arrange a non-denominational funeral?
  • What ceremonies are appropriate and can we arrange our own?
  • How to handle the legalities without outside pressure?

The process of dying is a natural part of everyone's journey through life, but it is so often surrounded by the fears caused by going into unknown territory. Each person approaches this time differently, but many aspects are the same for all, and we will help and support as you come to understand the different stages of this process, making it easier for all concerned.

 

pic of island © K Wilczynska 2003

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